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Child Safety Online: Safety On The Internet| Category | | | Summary | | This is a condensed guide appropriate for not only those parents out there who are tech-phobic or inexperienced with the Internet, but also for those who want to add to their online safety knowledge as a whole. |
| | Body | Introduction
The Internet can be a wonderful place - it is an information resource, an educational resource, a giant shopping mall, and a playground all in one place, and all at your fingertips. The analogy is important - most of you know that your child is being kept safe at school, and would certainly keep an eye on your child when you are at the mall or the playground. Just because the Internet comes into the safety of your own home does not mean that you need to be any less vigilant about what your child is doing.
Considering the current climate on the Internet, coupled with 'Internet culture' as a whole, there is substantial cause for worry concerning the safety of your children. If you are to shield your child from the dangers of the Internet (most especially predators, but other things as well), you yourself must be aware of the very real dangers that exist. The mindset that 'it will never happen to my child' is foolhardy at best - The Internet does not pose danger solely to a child's safety, but also to their social skills and personal development.
I'm not very tech savvy, what should I be doing?
The biggest mistake a lot of parents make is not taking the time to understand modern technology, both what it is meant to do (its stated purpose) and how easily it can be abused to do other things. This is not to say you can't trust your children, and it isn't about saying you don't trust them. As people, we are at our most vulnerable when we are very young, or very old. We are more impressionable as youngsters, and more susceptible to suggestion and manipulation by our peers and predators. For an example of how the Internet can affect children, you can take a look at a related article here. It outlines a fictional instance where things go very wrong, but also goes into a solution. With a foreknowledge of the dangers, and the proper supervision of your children, you can avoid an issue before it ever arises.
A very young child has no real need to be on the Internet, except perhaps to look at the pretty colours on a children's television-related website. However, as they get to school age, not only is it a question of their curiosity getting the better of them but most schools have Internet-connected computers, which are used in the course of classroom instruction. Whilst it would be nice to say that their school is the ideal place for them to learn about the Internet, it would be a very naive and short-sighted decision to leave it down to their school alone to properly educate them on the subject.
If you already have a computer, make sure you know how it works properly. Don't rely on the salesperson who sold it to you to explain everything; make an effort to go a little further and research it yourself. Make sure you know how everything works, down to the last detail.
If you've bought a new computer specifically for your child, make sure you have an administrator account for yourself set up, with password protection. Disallow administrative capability to your child, and set them up with a basic account only. Make sure you yourself create a strong alphanumeric password that they're not going to be able to guess or work out eventually. Depending on your chosen operating system this is usually very easy to do.
It is also advised that you use some kind of parental control software with the computer. A lot of merchants include this with new purchases, and if they're very good they can probably make some recommendations for you. If your computer didn't come with parental control software, you would do well to Google "parental control" and take a look at the variety of products out there. Some of them are free, and some of them aren't. e-blaster is a very good product, especially if you have teenagers that you want to monitor. It isn't free, but making sure you know what your child or teen is doing online, and that they're doing it safely is not something you can put a price tag on. E-blaster is more of a monitor for when they're online as opposed to something to limit time spent online (more on that in the next section).
Computers don't make value judgments; they can only do what they are told, and thus they can be exploited to do things that one might not consider. Most people know about the damage viruses can do to a computer, or how you can have sensitive data stolen. The same 'holes' that allow viruses onto your computer can also be used to get around parental controls. Make sure your software is updated, especially to prevent security exploits or workarounds that especially clever children or teens might be able to discover. The trick is to be a few steps ahead of them, because if they can push the limits you've set them, they will do so.
They're using the Internet, now what do I do?
Supervision, supervision, supervision. That can't be stressed enough. A teen probably won't like that, so the aforementioned e-blaster is one way of monitoring their behaviour. However, what you can also do is set time limits. For example, allow them one hour of Internet time per day, perhaps two on weekend days. If they can be trusted to log off after an hour, then you need not worry about using software to make that happen for them. If they can't, and don't respond to your telling them to log off, then software it is. This is also useful if you have more than one child or teen who wants use of the Internet, meaning you can allocate time slots appropriately.
Regardless of if you have software or not, stay in the same room with them. Sit with them and see what they're doing, take an interest in what they're looking at. E-blaster would tell you precisely what, but if they know you're taking an interest then they're not only less likely to try and sneakily get up to something they perhaps shouldn't be, they are also less likely to end up in a position where they are talking to people online whom you don't know.
We have not always had the Internet, and so it should be stressed that for purposes of homework and the like, there are other resources at hand. Encourage them to use their text books, visit libraries and use older methods of learning. They might well screw their noses up at this, but in this day and age, we rely far too much on the Internet for everything, and unless we teach our younger generations the value of the older methods they will die out, and the Internet will become a necessity and not just an option for education and recreation.
Don't allow children to have the computer in their own room to start off with, and explain why you're doing this. As much as children are rebellious and whine about things being unfair, which gets worse in their teens, you need to put your foot down with them. Perhaps when you've established a trustworthy and regular pattern of use, then they might be allowed to use it in isolation, but you should still monitor their traffic. It's a little bit naughty, but not letting them know that such software is installed is wise because then they won't try and get around it in some way. Again, it is a question of safety taking priority over short-term whining.
It is advised that you do not sway from the time limits you set for your children or teen on the Internet. It is incredibly detrimental to their socialisation and motivation to do anything else if they're glued to the Internet from the moment they come home from school to the moment they go to bed. The article previously mentioned earlier in this article is a prime example of what might happen if you leave them unattended.
What sort of things are dangerous?
Here's a list of things that predators may target specifically:
- Chatrooms attached to websites.
- IRC chatrooms.
- Social networking sites such as Myspace and Bebo.
- Instant messengers such as Windows Live Messenger, Yahoo, AIM & ICQ.
There are of course other avenues of communication, but a predator will use instant messengers and chatrooms as their first port of call. Social networking sites are hazardous and therefore it is suggested that you do not allow your children to use them at all, but the main threats are chat platforms. You need to be aware that many social networking sites also have their own instant messaging software built-in to the site. Social networking sites are a very bad idea for young children and early teens, so it is best if you familiarise yourself with them. Social networking sites or instant messengers themselves are not dangerous; rather, they are like most tools - there is a usual use for them, and there are other more dangerous or malicious uses they can be put to, depending on the individual, so the key is to protect your child from the individual, in this case predators.
That being said, here is a list of sites to look over:
This is just a list of popular sites. There are a lot more available, and new ones pop up all the time. Make sure you understand what they are, how easily accessible they are and how they can be abused. More importantly, realise why they will be attractive to your child or teen. If you do decide to allow them, then make sure you keep a very close eye on them. Many computers with already installed operating systems will come equipped with a lot of the instant messenger programs pre-installed, so make sure you see what software your computer has and where. Ideally, if you can buy a computer and install everything yourself from scratch, you will know precisely what's there. If you're not technical enough to do that, then you might want to learn, or get a trusted family member or friend to do it for you. You could always pay someone to do it to your specifications, but it's really worth making the effort to do it yourself, and you'll find lots of places charge the Earth for doing something that isn't really rocket science if you apply yourself.
My child/teen wants to play video games.
Video games are obviously tremendous fun. Games which don't involve the use of the Internet are ideal because the social interaction that sucks kids in and prevents them from doing things like homework or engaging in out-of-the-house social activities doesn't exist in that case. However, any game can be addictive, even on a single player platform, and as a parent, you also have to look out for game content: games can be entirely innocent, or be complete bloodbaths. All games have ratings you can use as a guide, and many retail outlets have restrictions on who can buy mature-rated games.
Multiplayer online games such as World of Warcraft and Rose Online are addictive from both a gaming and a social standpoint. So, if your child or teen wants to game, set time limits and don't allow them to go over them, and don't let them play online until they've taken care of all of their offline responsibilities first. The key is to teach your children that the Internet is an addition to their life, not the focus or sum total of it.
What about when they visit friends with Internet-enabled computers?
This should be common sense. Speak to the parent of their friend and explain that you have specific rules concerning the Internet for your child. Most other parents will respect your wishes and monitor your kids (and theirs) when they're there. If they're not, then you need to ensure your child can be trusted to stick to the rules you've applied. If they suddenly start wanting to go round to their friend's place every night, and don't get anything done, you can probably deduce that something is amiss and needs to be attended to. Of course, your child or teen will be mortally embarrassed at the prospect of your doing this, but you can cite the whole "I'm your parent, and it's my PURPOSE to embarrass you sometimes," rule.
Webcams?
No. The problems that can be caused by webcams simply outweigh anty possible benefits.
I'm having problems and I don't think I can trust my child/teen whilst I'm out.
Parental control software usually has the ability to block use of the Internet when you want it to. If yours can't, or you don't have any, then it's a good idea to rectify the situation. Alternatively, if you're not particularly upset over the prospect of not having Internet access at all in your home, you could always just cancel your service. That will likely create a difficult situation if your child or teen uses it for constructive means as well, but if you really can't trust them and they don't respond to your discipline, then it's a very effective measure, assuming they don't run off to an Internet cafe close by. Of course you could always locate your local Internet cafes and ask them not to allow usage, but if someone really wants to get access and they're clever, then you're probably in a great deal of trouble. That however is a parenting issue, not an Internet use issue.
I'm more of a laid-back parent, but I want to know what I should be looking for.
If you choose to let your child or teen run free on the Internet without a care in the world, if something happens it is entirely your own fault. However, if you think something is going on, this is what you should be looking for:
- Excessive tiredness due to staying up all night on the Internet.
- Not coming down for family meals, or eating properly when they normally would.
- Suffering grades/schoolwork.
- Increased time off "sick" at school or college.
- Poor attention span.
- Jumpiness if you enter their room without warning.
- Quickly minimising browser or chat windows when you enter the room.
- Rapidly decreasing offline social activities.
- Ill health.
- If they're a gamer, increased desire for money to pay for subscriptions or games.
- Extreme cases may report theft for the above.
- Irritability and introversion.
- Nocturnalism, particularly if they've met someone in another timezone.
- Visible panic or uncomfortable behaviour if presented with the prospect of disconnection.
- General apathy for anything other than the Internet.
It is not just the dangers of Internet predators you should be afraid of; you also have your child's social interaction and future to think about. Your child might be perfectly safety-conscious online, but they may become so absorbed by the Internet that they become disinterested in everything else.
What does it mean to "groom" a child?
Check out the following link, as Wikipedia defines this quite well:
Child Grooming Over The Internet
This is what you're trying to protect your child from. This is precisely why this project exists, in the hope that it will better inform Internet users, and offer advice to people who need it. There have unfortunately been numerous cases of child grooming over the Internet, of which we are going to list a few here. It would make sense that you read and understand what these sort of people are, and WHY protecting your child or teen on the Internet is so important.
Those are just a few examples of what can happen. Our main aim it to keep you as informed as possible about potentially dangerous areas of the Internet, whilst leaving you to make informed decisions for yourselves and your family.
Finally, we present you with a list of sites dedicated to child safety on the Internet, for your perusal:
References
- CyberArmy.net: The Potential Impact of the Internet on Children, Last accessed 19th February, 2008.
- Child Grooming on Wikipedia: Child Grooming Over The Internet, Last accessed 19th February, 2008
- SpectatorSoft.com: E-blaster, Last accessed 19th February, 2008.
- Brian Doyle on Wikipedia : Brian Doyle, Last accessed 19th February, 2008.
- BBC: Chatroom Paedophile Jailed, Last accessed 19th February, 2008.
- BBC: Radio DJ jailed for web Grooming, Last accessed 19th February, 2008.
- BBC: Man admits sex grooming charges, Last accessed 19th February, 2008.
This article was originally published by CyberArmy.net in the CyberArmy Library. |
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